Cycles of Life

Today I celebrate my 38th trip around the sun.  My tradition has become to spend the day focused on health and healing.  Part of that tradition has been to write in my journal.  This year I thought it only appropriate that I would write in my blog.

Today I would like to share some thoughts I have about the “cycles of life” that we are all experiencing every day of our lives.  There are the daily cycles, weekly cycles, monthly cycles, seasonal cycles, yearly cycles and  life cycles.  Isn’t it beautiful how they all overlap?  Everyday I wake up, eat 3 meals a day, do my daily tasks and then go to bed.  During that time my body is going through it’s own cycles.  My appetite and emotions are changing with every breathe I take.  It’s as if each day is the same as the day before.  I have my routines and I flow through life in the rhythm that suites my body.

As I take a step back I see the cycles of the month.  Especially as a woman I experience the monthly cycle profoundly through my menstrual and hormonal cycle.  I experience the peak energy and the low energy times of the month.  The times when I am social and the times when I retreat into my  own world.  The times of the full moon and the times of the new moon.  Month after month I experience the beauty of what it means to be a woman.  Every month I am given the present of bearing life even if not in the form of a child but in the form of the projects I create and manifest in the world.  This great gift of life flows through me month after month.

Each month turns into seasons.  Right now it is the season of winter. A time of reflection and preparing for the new year.  I watch my cat sleep a deep sleep as his body is acknowledging the darkness of winter and the time for hibernation and rejuvenation.  He is so peaceful.  It is a time for slowing down and fattening up.  Cuddling and staying warm.  Snow, rain, fog and short nights are with us as we prepare for the time when the Spring will come and bring life back to our Earth.  The sun will shine, the flowers will bloom, the snow will melt, the birds will sing as we prepare for the long days of summer.

Thinking about the summer in the middle of the winter cycle always feels so good.  I can’t imagine what fun the summer birthday people must have!  The holidays are far behind us and there is so much fun to be had dancing in the hot sun.  Of course, I was born in the NorthEastern United States and now live in the the NorthWest.  The cycles are different and my body always remembers the NorthEast.  I think about the southern hemisphere of the Earth and think how balanced we are with the opposite pull of the seasons.  They are laughing and dancing in the sun while we are hibernating in the darkness of winter.

One of my favorite seasons has always been Fall.  Especially the memory of it growing up in the NorthEastern US.  The days are getting shorter as we now move back towards winter.  Back to school.  Back to work.  Last push before the end of the year and the new yearly cycle begins.  Hot soup and root veggies are my favorite this time of year.  Celtic music and the thought of my ancestors dancing in the Autumn leaves always makes me smile.  The smell of the crisp Autumn air makes me happy as I start to slow down and reflect on all that is behind me.

The holiday season, New Years and another trip around the sun brings me back to another cycle of life that has gone behind me.  The cycle of another year of life.  Another year older.  Another year wiser.  I feel my body.  I feel my soul.  I feel my ancestors who have passed before me.  This year in particular I feel my two grandfathers who both passed in 2009.  A new feeling I haven’t had in birthdays past.  The feeling of sorrow, of death, of mourning and grief.  Looking at their lives that have passed I think of how many trips around the sun they made in their life.  How many daily cycles they had.  How many months, seasons and years.  They both lived to be 84 and 86.  Now that’s a lot of trips!

I think about where I am today as I enter the mid-cycle of my life and think about how far away from my own cycle of birth I have come and hopefully how far from the cycle of death I have to go.  With the passing of my grandfathers the cycle of death seems more real to me.  It feels more a part of life then I ever imagined.  The little girl I remember being when I spent the most time with my grandfathers is now a memory of the past.  I feel blessed that I still have my two grandmothers with me.  They are two of the most inspiring people I know and I feel blessed to be have them in my life.  After 60+ years of being married to my grandfathers I feel a sense of relief and healing going on for them.  I see them enjoying their independence which was not something women of their generation got to have very much of.  They inspire me to one day be a grandmother

Having all four of my grandparents in my life for so long I felt as if I was surrounded by the four seasons.  Each one of them representing an element.  Today there is an emptiness where there once was four.  But I am moving into a new year and excepting what this past year has given me and know that there is a matriarchal balance surrounding me and the my grandfathers are still there with me just in another form and with me in spirit.  Their end of life suffering is over.

This cycle of death comes back around in the form of the cycle of birth.  I am so excited for all of the friends and relatives that I have surrounding me that are giving birth soon.  It is truly a beautiful time to be born.  Just as I have learned to accept death as a cycle of life, I have accepted birth as well.  I envision the day when I will possibly give birth to a healthy child of my own.  I envision the day I was born and give thanks to my parents for bringing me into this world.  I spoke to my dad today for a while about the day I was born and learned that back in the 70′s the father wasn’t allowed in the delivery room!  Can you believe it?  I asked him about it because I had seen a tv show set in the 60′s and the father was told he had to wait in the waiting room.  Dad tells me that was the case for all of us except for my younger sister who was born in ’84.  I can’t believe it!  How absurd.  I am so thankful that has changed!

Today I am thankful for the healthy body I have been given and for all the wonderful people I have in my life.  I couldn’t have asked for a better cycle of life.  It can be challenging at times and discouraging to no end.  But things always turn around.  Even when it seems like the end of the world.  I wonder what my next trip around the sun will be like?  I am thankful for my ancestors and family who have paved the way for me.  I am thankful for my wonderful husband and his family.  I am.  Namaste